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Chaos (In My Head)

from Monsters I Defeat by Millennial Sun

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about

'Chaos' was written during the height of Katherine Kelly's struggle with bipolar 2 disorder. Katherine had not yet been diagnosed, but was suffering from the confusion and anguish of constant and acute mood swings and episodes. The main idea behind this song is trying to figure out who and what you are. Just because we occasionally do 'bad' things, dos that make us a bad person? Does that contradict that we are a good person? In the end, the song expresses the need to be accepted for being both. And that things are not just black and white. We all do good and bad things, but they do not always have to define us. It is a spectrum.

lyrics

Chaos (In My Head)

I'm all or I'm nothing, I'm in or I'm out
I wanted a little bit, but I don't know how
I'm cool, I'm confident; Or I'm freaking out
I'm controlled & together, or I'm breaking down

I can't hold it together, when you're not around
But that just sounds stupid, so I won't make a sound
I'll tell you too much, I'll tell you nothing at all
I'll scare you away & then I’ll ignore your calls

I am dark, I am light; take me for who I am
I am wrong & I am right; take me for who I am

Can we just pretend we'll feel this every night?
Can we just instead let this feel so right?
Well I know I get defensive, but I'll hide my fears away
& maybe just for tonight, I'll let that be okay

Let me taste your lips, Leave or shoes by the bed
Hold me close for the kiss, live in this moment instead
Calm the Chaos In My Head
The Chaos In My…

I am dark, I am light; take me for who I am
I am wrong & I am right; take me for who I am

My emotions are raw, my emotions run high
But the love that I give will be worth your time
I am far from perfect, but no one is
Hold me close; all I need is this
All I need is...

I am dark, I am light; take me for who I am
I am wrong & I am right; take me for who I am
I am fragile, I am tough; take me for who I am
I am brave, I come undone; take me for who I am
Take me for who I am

credits

from Monsters I Defeat, released June 22, 2018
Originally written by Katherine Kelly; instrumentals revamped by Neil Hollandsworth, Chris Carneiro, and Nathanael Grant. Recorded, mixed and mastered at Goldentone Studios in Gainesville, FL.

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Millennial Sun Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Millennial Sun is a South Florida based alternative rock band. The band was founded in May 2015 and have played alongside notable artists such as Rookie of the Year and events such as the Miami-Dade County Fair. Influences include Iron Maiden, Tool, Manchester Orchestra and Dream Theater. Neil Hollandsworth/Guitar, Chris Carneiro/Bass, Katherine Kelly/Volcals&Lyrics, Nathanael Grant/Drums. ... more

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